just a flick of the wrist and i am waving you goodbye.

I'm going to get over this. I will. I have to. 

It's just harder than I thought. 

I need summer, and fast.

goodnight.

b.

let go, let go.

why, why, why do we always want what we cannot have?

bhriel.

picture perfect.

So, this is kinda old, but over spring break my lovely friend christi took a little photoshoot of me just for fun.

here are some of the pictures. 

it was raining, and freezing and somehow she managed to get good shots.

anyways, no classes tomorrow! thank jesus.

night.

love, b.

warmth of the sand.

summer 2008

school's almost out.

the past couple of days have given me the summer jitters.

i feel like i have senioritis all over again. i want to feel the sand between my toes, and the sun on my back, and the wind blowing through my hair. 

i am so ready for working every day, and then being absolutely, delightfully lazy on the weekends.

i am excited about reading everything and anything...for fun!

i am ready to stay up late just to stay up late, not because i have homework to do.

and to sleep in until i want to wake up, not until my alarm clock goes off.

i love that everything is changing again. the trees are all dressed in their summer green. the bugs and butterflies and beetles are everywhere.

it's been perfectly hot out over the past 4 days. in the 80's and 90's. Everyone is in bright colors and sun dresses and bathing suits. it's fabulous.

i haven't been this happy in awhile. it's been helping me keep my mind off things that have hurt me over the past couple of weeks. 

i have had this song stuck in my head ever since it's felt like summer. it's probably on of my favorite dashboard songs.

Warmth of the Sand

Relax and stand in the warmth of the sand 
the day is long 
and here for us to take for granted. 
We find ourselves to our knees 
Water clear, a tender breeze upon our faces 
as we bask in our good graces 
Yeah, we all are golden here. 

And summer, and summer, 
where night belongs to lust and lovers. 
And summer, and summer, 
and I am here to win you over. 
You will be mine this year. 

The sun is set and the moon is high, 
The night is long and here for you and I to capture 
And flood ourselves to the gills with icey drinks 
With bolstering wills and we are braver for the moment 
Yeah, we all are golden here 

The courtyard where the garden stands, 
Behind the beach, in crystal and sands, we shed our clothes, 
And felt romantic, tinted by the moon fantastic. 
Bright and warm, and hours alone absolve us of the sins we own. 
And from one year into another I think of you when I feel summer. 

And summer, and summer, where all the girls bear olive shoulders 
And summer, and summer, where all you hope for is another 
And summer, and summer, where night belongs to lust and lovers 
And summer, and summer, and I am here to win you over 
You will be mine this year. 

summer skin.

song of the day: summer skin by death cab for cutie.

in other news. i need a new bathing suit. i found some i like on delia's website, but the one i like a lot from target and stuff, i couldn't get the pics to save to my computer.

pity.

Opinions? Comments? Concerns?

anyways, i am going outside to work on my tan.

b.p.

don't dance.

i loveeee this song.

best line, "and even if you don't dance, i've gotta get you out to take this chance."

goodnight<3

bhriel.

Naive.

Oh, how silly and naive I have been, but lesson learned and i've moved on. 

Naive is also an amazing song by the kooks.  i lovee it. I've had such an interesting week.  things have changed so much.  and I am surprised at how well i am taking it.  i am like so excited to move on. this is something that doesn't normally happen, normally i hold on to things forever, but this time i feel free, and i am so ready to have some fun.

I am copying Celeste and Alaina.

things i am looking forward to:

1. Girl Talk/Lupe Fiasco!!! 

2. Sig Ep Prep [:

3. SUMMER!! 

4. Working at Morgan's Gymnastics with my best friends!

5. The beach. <3

6. Cute bikinis!!

7. Tanlines.

8. Cookouts.

9. Late night trips to the park with the crew.

10. Getting to see my family, and spend a lot of time with my little sister and my nephew!!

11. Going to NYC, seeing family, and reuniting with my Elon loves.

12. summer lovin'

[:

That's really it. But in order to get to most of this, I have to make it through the end of this semester, exams, and freaking Teaching Fellows Discovery Week. [woof]

on the bright side, tonight=noises off, and a veronica mars date with my loverrr.

love,

bhrie bhrie.

"The voice of the sea is seductive; never ceasing, whispering, clearing, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander for a spell in the abysses of solitude; to lose itself in mazes of inward contemplation. The voice of the sea speaks to the soul. The touch of the sea is sensuous, enfolding the body in its soft, close embrace." -The Awakening, Kate Chopin

so long, so long.

Mr. Orr and Luq Boyd. Two of the funniest people i've come in contact with.  Also, two people who had a huge impact on who I have become. Thanks for the inspiration, and Luq, I miss you so much.

on monday, i wrote about luq's death.  He died on the third monday in april. but the date of his death was today, april 22.  so, this post is completely dedicated to him.

Junior year, in AP English, Luq sat across from me.  We'd make faces at each other. Mr. Orr used to say I was a jew, or should have been, because I was from NY and looked Jewish.  One time Luq passed me a note, and on the inside it said " you're a pseudojew." i thought it was pretty funny.  Another time, we had an entire hour long conversation [we were supposed to be doing a group short story] about italian food and the mafia, and all sorts of things.  

I'm not even going to lie, i had a little crush on him.  I mean, he even liked the song coin operated boy!!  But he had a girlfriend until he died.  

God, that week was the worst one of my life quite possibly.  I didn't go to school, except to go to his memorial.  The day he died i got a phone call at 6 in the morning, and 25 minutes later I was on the bus, driving on the same road that brilliant, funny, hopeful boy died on.

We miss you, Luq, so much. You have touched so many lives.  Danie used your poem in her graduation speech, you know? And in that 100 degree weather, in those heinous gowns, on one of the most important days of our lives, you were still there with us, lending us a few of your many words of wisdom.  Love you, Luq. <3

i'm gonna find a better you.

so, i decided that all of my blog titles are going to be song names. 

anyways, i've decided to catch up on my boy drama, but this is the last time i will talk and worry and bitch about boys.

well, i mentioned in my georgia entry that i had spent the weekend with the boy i was kinda feeling.  after that weekend i definitely knew that i like him. at first it was just ehh. whatever. but then, i couldn't stop thinking about him, etc. it was intense. when we got back things were completely different though. and i felt really uneasy, and knew something was up. 

well, long story short, the male race never ceases to disappoint. i knew it wouldn't end up with us together. it was too close to the end of the year, and i understood that. but according to him, this entire things was all me. that's what upset me the most i guess, that he acted like he didn't initiate anything, when he, in fact, initiated the majority of things. it hurt i guess. but i realize now that i shouldn't have expected more. once again, i have fallen heels over head for someone, and on the way down, not only did i break my ankle, but i also ruined my favorite pair of shoes.

that feels good to get off my chest.

Also, today marks the two year anniversary of Luq's death. I think about him all the time.  He was the funniest person i've known.  he was so smart. he was such a good writer, and a passionate person. i miss him. we all miss him. RIP Luq, i can't believe it's been two years.

<3

dreaming with a broken heart.

Yet another wonderful song. And yes, I am being slightly emo lately, but I have decided that Robert Frost says it best [he usually does say it best] with:

"in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life: it goes on."

also, I haven't actually been dreaming with a broken heart, since i didn't actually sleep last night...instead i laid awake wishing both for it to be morning, and for night time to go on forever so i didn't have to get out of bed.

well, now I must go be productive with my life and tutor little children, then class, then the gym, then homework, then group project, the GOSSIP GIRL [finally!]!!!

until another time, 

b.

gravity.

I think that everyone should listen to this song. because it is amazing. that's all.

Gravity

Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

<3

georgia on my mind.

Georgia!!

Well, I'm back from Georgia. I had the most amazing time. It was an interesting trip.

The weather was beautiful.  We spent most of the day saturday laying by the pond, swimming in the pond, or riding the golf cart around the pond. It was relaxing. I loved not having a computer, or a phone for almost the whole weekend. It was just a relief, especially after two extremely stressful weeks.  I really needed it.

On Easter, the girls [Alaina, Me, and Celeste] went to church with Grandmama.  Then, we went back to her house and took cute Easter pictures.  The boys [Brian, Max, John, George, Stephen, and Jack] joined us there. We ate, played with the little cousins, drew on the driveway with chalk, the boys played four square. We also went on terrifying/amazing golf cart rides. Ah. So much fun.

The dance parties at the cabin at night were also quality. Craziness and sloppiness all around. I

don't think I've ever had that much fun at any other party.

Another high point was that I spent the weekend with the person I have really fallen for. And this weekend just made it worse/better. I've gotten to the point of butterflies, and feeling like I am going to throw up when I see him. I know he's somewhat attracted to me. I mean that much is obvious. I mean we've been hooking up for over a month. 

So, yeah, moving on.

Celeste's Grandma is the world's greatest southern cook.   And I almost stowed away there. I didn't want to come back.

But now it's back to reality.  I feel like i left the sunniness in Georgia. It's rainy and gross back at Elon. 

I can't wait to go back.

colorblind

Celeste forced me to get a blog...

I can't believe it's only tuesday, and I am ready for this week to be over.

Things have just been so hectic lately, and the miserable weather is not really helping my stressed mood at all.

Saturday and Sunday were perfection! I sat outside with celeste, jack, kelsey, sarah, alaina, and random other people for hours on end. 

So, for the past two days I've been listening to Colorblind by Counting Crows on repeat. 

It's amazing.

I guess this is what you do on a blog? I don't know. 

That's all I guess.